The debate "Who would win in a battle, pirates or a ninja?" has been the cause of countless fights between geeks who would only care about matters such as this, me being one of them. This argument arose around the same time as internet chat rooms, though the roots of this hideous plant started before then.
In 1989, Atari released Skull & Crossbones, a video game that allowed players to play as pirates who fought groups of ninja. It was no doubt due to this release that the seeds of the conflict took root, though it is possible for it to have started before then.
Enough background. Who really would win? Several have tried to analyze the strategies of the opposing sides before, but I have not seen any that have done so thorough a job as http://www.ninjapirate.com/battle.html, though this website may seem a little biased towards the ninja. Despite the possible favoritism, I agree with thilo, the assumed author of the linked site, in that, even though he never comments on who would actually win, the ninja would be victorious.
Several factors have to be taken into account. Of course, fighting prowess is a major one. But the subtle differences might be what could make the biggest upset in a fight. As stated by thilo, pirates are smelly, loud, and, assuming the stereotype is correct, impaired in vision and mobility. Ninja are "nonexistent" (otherwise he is not a ninja at all), so therefore quiet, and very mobile and agile. Pirates are brutes and may overcome any obstacle with raw power, but ninja are great tactictians, observing their targets for a great time before making a move, which is usually a killing blow done in a split second. Pirates tend to enjoy being inebriated, so even if the ninja were defeated, they may only be made prisoners, which would allow time for the ninja to plan their escape while the pirates got drunk and pillaged.
The pen is mightier than the sword and brain overcomes brawn. Ironic how ninja weild swords, typically that is, though blades in general are used quite often (shurikens), and superior brain power over pirates.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Entergy is Picky
My dad is a lineman for Entergy of Arkansas. He has been doing this kind of work for close to twice my age. He first started as a lineman in southern Texas in the '80's. The most advanced piece of equipment was a truck full of sub-par tools. He literally climbed poles and put his life in danger every day for barely more than minimum wage. He knows (nearly) everything there is to know about everything that is related to his work.
Coming to Arkansas in 2000, he had to make major adjustments. For one thing, there are bucket trucks here. A truck that climbs for you?! Wow! Had it not been for all his prior experience, he would have had to start a "greenhorn." He had to learn all the company's procedures and techniques and the "proper" ways of completing the tasks he was assigned. No problem.
Recently, there was a problem. He had to go clean up and replace a damaged line, which would cause him to deepen the rut he walks every day. Arriving at the sight, he saw that the line was lying across the street. As most people know, live power lines are feisty. They will shake and spark and sputter all over the place until the juice runs dry. This massive snake was dead. So Dad began to remove the line from the street. This is the part where he begins to "get dumped on."
He did not check to make sure the line was dead before he began maintenance, which is against company policy. "I'm not an idiot, son, I know if a line is live and I know that that one wasn't," Entergy found out about this "ignorance and stupidity" and forced unpaid leave on him.
During this "break," he began to make his case, going back to the sight, reliving everything and recording it. His hearing came up and he made his case. The company's only argument was, "It was against company policy," which is to say they knew he was right but because he did not do things by the book, he got demoted and, in his own words, screwed.
Sometimes Goliath falls on David. Who wins then?
Coming to Arkansas in 2000, he had to make major adjustments. For one thing, there are bucket trucks here. A truck that climbs for you?! Wow! Had it not been for all his prior experience, he would have had to start a "greenhorn." He had to learn all the company's procedures and techniques and the "proper" ways of completing the tasks he was assigned. No problem.
Recently, there was a problem. He had to go clean up and replace a damaged line, which would cause him to deepen the rut he walks every day. Arriving at the sight, he saw that the line was lying across the street. As most people know, live power lines are feisty. They will shake and spark and sputter all over the place until the juice runs dry. This massive snake was dead. So Dad began to remove the line from the street. This is the part where he begins to "get dumped on."
He did not check to make sure the line was dead before he began maintenance, which is against company policy. "I'm not an idiot, son, I know if a line is live and I know that that one wasn't," Entergy found out about this "ignorance and stupidity" and forced unpaid leave on him.
During this "break," he began to make his case, going back to the sight, reliving everything and recording it. His hearing came up and he made his case. The company's only argument was, "It was against company policy," which is to say they knew he was right but because he did not do things by the book, he got demoted and, in his own words, screwed.
Sometimes Goliath falls on David. Who wins then?
The Power of I and I
Being quiet and reserved most of the time, I am hardly ever subject to opportunities that would require me to "take a stand," though I do remember a time when third grade Braden did so.
"Time to put your books away, kids. Class time," the substitute spouted. This was wrong. We were given 30 minutes every morning to read before we even recited the pledge of allegiance. It was early in the morning, so I figured she may have skimmed over that part in the lesson plan.
"Uh... Miss? The teacher lets us read for a while first. Is she not going to let us today?"
"Uh... Kid? Your teacher is not here and she left a lot for us to do today. So put your book up and pay attention."
A little unnecessary, but I wasn't going to argue further on that subject. The substitute conducted class in the worst way, the other kids in class agreed. A few of them also tried to let her know that her age was not an excuse for mishaps. She would not have it. None of us had recess that day. I would not have been fazed over this, being an indoor kid, but it was the way she denied us, with so much unjust authority, that angered me.
Sitting in my desk at five past noon felt weird. The other classes kids' squeals did not help any. She told us to get out our books and read, as punishment. That was it.
Substitute had cut short our reading earlier in the day, even when it was evident we wanted to and were allowed to (which should have been evident, but apparently was not). This went against our regular teacher. Substitute stole our recess. This went against the school. Substituting recess for reading as punishment was so wrong I started laughing out loud.
"What's so funny?"
I would type the conversation but third grade logic isn't the most comprehensible thing, and I do not remember everything. My argument made complete sense to myself and my fellows but, again, she wouldn't have it. Within three hours of freedom, she sent me to the warden's office. I explained myself to the principal and for whatever reason, she agreed with me.
I have not seen that substitute to this day. I would feel bad about snitching... but I don't. She deserved it and I still find it funny.
"Time to put your books away, kids. Class time," the substitute spouted. This was wrong. We were given 30 minutes every morning to read before we even recited the pledge of allegiance. It was early in the morning, so I figured she may have skimmed over that part in the lesson plan.
"Uh... Miss? The teacher lets us read for a while first. Is she not going to let us today?"
"Uh... Kid? Your teacher is not here and she left a lot for us to do today. So put your book up and pay attention."
A little unnecessary, but I wasn't going to argue further on that subject. The substitute conducted class in the worst way, the other kids in class agreed. A few of them also tried to let her know that her age was not an excuse for mishaps. She would not have it. None of us had recess that day. I would not have been fazed over this, being an indoor kid, but it was the way she denied us, with so much unjust authority, that angered me.
Sitting in my desk at five past noon felt weird. The other classes kids' squeals did not help any. She told us to get out our books and read, as punishment. That was it.
Substitute had cut short our reading earlier in the day, even when it was evident we wanted to and were allowed to (which should have been evident, but apparently was not). This went against our regular teacher. Substitute stole our recess. This went against the school. Substituting recess for reading as punishment was so wrong I started laughing out loud.
"What's so funny?"
I would type the conversation but third grade logic isn't the most comprehensible thing, and I do not remember everything. My argument made complete sense to myself and my fellows but, again, she wouldn't have it. Within three hours of freedom, she sent me to the warden's office. I explained myself to the principal and for whatever reason, she agreed with me.
I have not seen that substitute to this day. I would feel bad about snitching... but I don't. She deserved it and I still find it funny.
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